Furball
by Jem Kallop
Summary: Ryo is getting fed up of Yami Marik's constant violent outbursts. Completely at his wits' end, he stumbles across an advert which might change their lives forever. Whether or not Ryo can get his partner to agree is an entirely different matter . . . Very fluffy deathshipping oneshot, rated for swearing and nothing else.


**This wonderfully fluffy deathshipping plot came from the incredibly fabulous mind of Miss Macabre Grey. She is too busy (lazy) to write it herself, so she very kindly asked me to write it for her and I absolutely jumped at the chance! This sort of fluff is right up my street. It is rated T for very bad language (because, let's be honest, when Yami Marik is around there is going to be a lot of swearing) but there is nothing very bad in here other than that. The name I use for Yami Marik is 'Kek', which again is invented by the wondrous Miss Macabre Grey, and because this is for her I am forcing myself to use 'Ryo', although I much prefer 'Ryou'. Be grateful, Grey. Be VERY grateful. Also, I apologise for how completely OOC Kek is, and how very late I am in getting this out. ^_^**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. Kazuki Takahashi does. So please do not sue me. I have no money. At all.**

**I hope you all enjoy this big ball of fluffiness! – Jem**

Ryo threw the phone away from himself with flashing, narrowed brown eyes, his hands clenched into tight fists by his sides and his shoulders hunched and aching with tension. He had just about had enough. If what Yugi had just told him was true, then Kek had some serious explaining to do when he finally got his lazy backside back home.

Ryo sank into the cushions with a low hiss, fuming. Kek was difficult to control at the best of times, but this was getting seriously out of hand; every day there was a call from someone or other, telling Ryo of Kek's latest escapade. Something had to be done.

But Ryo had tried everything.

Talking to Kek had been his first port of call, but the huge Egyptian just laughed at him, peals of cackling mirth resounding off their kitchen ceiling. The biggest issue was that Kek could not see anything wrong with what he did – no matter how many times Ryo told him firmly that beating up passersby was _never_ a good idea, Kek's logic was perfect. He would shrug, tilting his head in that infuriating manner as his lips stretched into a wide grin. "But they insult me and you. Why wouldn't I punish them?"

"Hospitalising people doesn't equal punishment," Ryo would argue with a sigh, rubbing his temples.

Kek would just grin evilly. "But it's so much _fun_."

At that point, Ryo would usually throw his hands in the air and stalk off. But not today. Today, Kek was going to have a _lot_ to answer for.

The door to the house chose that moment to open, revealing a tall, very messy Egyptian with wildly spiked hair framed proudly in the doorway. Kek strode confidently down the hall, the door slamming behind him as he entered the living with a proud grin on his face, his expression practically radiant. It didn't fall at all when he met Ryo's furious glare. "You'll never guess what I've been doing today!"

"Well, let me see." Ryo's tone was dangerously low, but it bypassed Kek completely. "I sent you to the supermarket, but I suppose it was too much to ask for that you actually went shopping."

Kek instantly went on the defensive. "I did too!" He held up a bundle of shopping bags, tattered and torn, as if to prove his point. "But I did something else much more exciting. You'll like this, Ryo." With an excited bound, Kek leaped across the room and landed on the sofa next to Ryo, bouncing on the cushions as he turned a grin on his pale partner. "I was passing the record shop and I heard these teenagers going on about how hard rock is a load of bollocks, so I -"

"Shoved them out into the road and got them run over?" Ryo interrupted, his voice faux-sweet.

Kek stopped, blinking, before he turned annoyed violet eyes on his small partner. "How the fuck did you know that? I wanted it to be a surprise!"

"Oh, it was a _surprise_, alright." Ryo's tone was quickly becoming laced with anger and fury, and this time Kek caught on to his lover's mood.

Kek actually shrank a little into the cushions. "What are you going to yell at me about this time?"

Ryo stared in hopeless horror, his jaw half-open and his brown eyes wide and flashing. This is what made attempting to reform Kek a completely thankless task – he just did not understand that he had done anything wrong. Ryo was getting to the end of his tether. "You ... you just don't see the problem here, do you?"

"Well, no," Kek agreed defensively. "It isn't like I ripped their entrails out and ate them in front of their mothers. I mean, sure, I _thought_ about it, but I knew you wouldn't like it so I just pushed them in front of a bus instead -"

"And how is that any better?" Ryo questioned, attempting to sound calm and failing miserably.

Kek growled. "Well, they didn't actually die. Unfortunately."

"That is not unfortunate!" Ryo shook his head, allowing his face to drop into his hands. "I give up on you."

Kek sat in silence for a few moments, deeply confused by what had got Ryo so upset. This wasn't even the worst thing he had done that week – Ryo had coped better with them, so what had changed now? Tentatively, Kek reached out one arm and wrapped it around his Ryo's trembling shoulders, tugging the smaller man into his chest. Keeping Ryo tightly held against his side, Kek rumbled, "But there really isn't anything to worry about. No one saw me and like I said, no one died. I'm not going to get in trouble..."

"That's part of the problem!" Ryo pulled away from Kek to send him a stern glare. "You have no consequences and no responsibilities, and I think it's about time you did."

Kek blinked. "Huh?"

"Precisely!" Ryo pointed one pale finger, jabbing it straight at Kek's chin. "I bet you don't even know what those words mean."

Kek set his jaw as he fixed Ryo with a glare, opting to stay quiet. He never really knew how to deal with Ryo's breakdowns. Ryo stared back at him for a moment before shaking his head and clambering slowly to his feet. "I've had enough of this."

"What?" Kek demanded, standing up with him and leering down. "Of me?"

Ryo sighed. "It's hopeless. And it's about time I did something about it."

"If you're thinking of leaving, you won't get very far," Kek warned suspiciously. "You know I can follow you."

Ryo shook his head, fixing Kek with a sad, hopeless stare. "There's no point anymore. Follow me all you like." Without another word, Ryo turned and left the room, slamming the door behind him.

Kek stared, nonplussed. This was new – Ryo had never walked out on him before – and Kek was left without really knowing how to react. A large part of him wanted to run after Ryo, pick him up bodily and drag him back inside, but somehow Kek knew that it would be more sensible to stay in and let whatever Ryo was going through sort itself out. After all, in Kek's eyes, Ryo had just freaked out over nothing and stormed away. He would surely be back soon.

...

Ryo walked the streets of Domino as a restless bundle of jangling nerves. These instances with Kek were getting far too frequent, and Ryo just wasn't sure how much more of it he could put up with; Kek needed to be taught a lesson. The problem, of course, was that Kek had absolutely no concept of right or wrong. He was born out of darkness and pain and terror, spent years banished in the Shadow Realm, before finally being spat back out into the world of the living. It was no wonder that he had become a little warped.

Ryo sighed as he continued down the street, a little of the anger leaving him. After all, it was Kek's hopelessness that had first attracted Ryo to him; to see such a huge, dangerous man reduced to utter confusion whenever he encountered something like love and affection had instantly stirred something deep in Ryo's chest. He had always known that living with Kek would be a trial, but it was something Ryo agreed to gladly, and usually even enjoyed. Instances like today just reminded him of what an impossible task attempting to humanise Kek really was.

Ryo wandered a little further, thinking that he should probably be thinking about getting back soon. Leaving Kek on his own in the house was never a good idea. Just as Ryo turned, however, a sign on a lamppost caught his eye.

Ryo walked quickly towards it, grabbing the paper to stop it snapping in the breeze as he examined it closely. Kittens for sale... Kittens...

Kek needed to learn about responsibility. He needed to know that not everything in life was about revenge and anger, and what better way to do that than give him responsibility over a helpless creature? A helpless, _affectionate_ creature. This could be just exactly what Kek needed.

Chewing his lip for another few moments, Ryo turned the idea over in his mind before giving a small, determined nod and ripping the poster of the lamppost. The address was near here, and the deal shouldn't take too long. Kek was going to learn how to be human, no matter what lengths Ryo had to go to in order to make it happen.

Ryo walked with quick steps around the streets of Domino, finding his way to the address on the poster in no time. The house was large and welcoming, the woman who answered the door beaming at him with a bright smile, her brown hair tied back in a messy ponytail. "Can I help you?"

By way of reply, Ryo held up the poster, and the woman instantly ushered him in.

The kittens were a bit bigger than Ryo had anticipated, closer to adult age than kittens really. The woman nodded apologetically when he pointed this out. "Yes, that poster is quite old. We only have three left now – the other two were bought last week. You can have your pick of the bunch, though."

Ryo smiled his thanks and stepped over towards the pen the cats were kept in, allowing his eyes to run over the three small forms. They were all a mix of brown tabby, the biggest one with streaks of black running down its back as it tumbled across the pen, attacking its siblings wherever it could.

"That ones the only male," the woman remarked, pointing at the biggest. "The other two are female. The smallest is a shy little thing."

Ryo nodded, looking at the smallest cat; it was scrawny-looking thing, spending most of its time hidden under a blanket in the corner. As for the middle cat, it sat primly in the centre of the pen, ignoring both its siblings' antics as it calmly washed its face. Whilst Ryo watched, the cat opened its eyes and regarded him with a calm stare. Ryo started in surprise when he saw that the colour of its eyes were a deep, clear purple. It regarded him coldly for a moment before nonchalantly going back to washing its face.

Ryo smiled, leaning over into the pen in an attempt to stroke the middle cat. It jumped and glared at him, hissing as it quickly backed away to the other side of the pen. Ryo couldn't hold back a laugh. "Right, that settles it. You are _definitely_ going to be suitable for my boyfriend."

The woman picked the chosen cat up for Ryo in the end, passing her to him with a smile as he handed over the money. Ryo left the house with the bundle of brown fluff securely trapped in his arms, scratching the top of her head as he walked down the street, ignoring the slightly questioning glances from the passersby. He spoke to her as they walked, his tone a small coo. "Well, I think you'll do just fine. We need to teach my boyfriend a lesson – think you can manage that?"

The cat turned baleful purple eyes on him, her brown tabby fur sticking up in spikes of fluff the more he stroked her. "Calm down," Ryo murmured gently. "I promise you'll be safe. I won't let Kek hurt you."

The cat gave a small meow before twisting in Ryo's arms, attempting to jump down.

"Oh, no, you don't!" Ryo laughed, holding her tightly into his chest. "Come on, you haven't even seen the house yet!"

The cat mewed pathetically, resigning herself to being petted as Ryo continued down the street. She even started purring when Ryo scratched a spot behind her right ear.

"That's better," Ryo murmured, holding the cat closer to him as she relaxed further. The fuzzy warmth against his chest was exceedingly pleasant as Ryo turned into his street, approaching the front door. He took a moment to prepare the cat, turning her so she was looking at him as he continued to scratch behind her ear. "Now, you might get a bit of a shock at this, but I promise you everything will be fine, ok? I won't let him hurt you."

The cat purred, rubbing against his hand and half-closing her purple eyes, her mouth opening into a wide yawn.

"Well, that's as close to a yes as I'm going to get," Ryo grinned. He turned to the door, swinging it open with difficulty and shouting out, "Kek, I'm back! Get out here!"

There was a rush of footsteps and Kek appeared, growling low in his throat as he approached the doorway. "About fucking time! Where the hell have you been?"

Ryo sighed, his arms aching a bit from supporting the cat, who was a surprisingly heavy warmth against his chest. "Getting you something."

Kek quirked a brow. "Seriously? You never -" he froze when he finally got near enough to see the bundle of fur in Ryo's arms, his expression instantly becoming suspicious. "The fuck is that?!"

Ryo rolled his eyes, his arms clasped tightly around the fuzzy being held securely in his grip. His partner was glaring down at him with suspicious dark eyes, his brows knotted together and his jaw set, lips pursed into a dark frown.

Ryo sighed, forcing his way into their house and shutting the door behind him. "It's a cat, Kek – what does it look like?"

"Looks like a fucking fuzzball." Kek's lips twisted into a dark frown; his expression would have been threatening, were Ryo not used to it by now. "Actually, scrap that – it looks like a fucking fuzzball that deserves to be sent straight to the Shadow Realm. Get it the hell out of my house."

Ryo ignored him, as ever, instead striding into the living room with the cat cradled safely against his chest. "No can do, Mister. I bought her for you. And besides, this is _my_ house, not yours." He sat down on the sofa and gently laid the cat next to him, watching with a small smile as she sniffed at the cushions, her feline face wrinkled into an expression not dissimilar to his boyfriend's.

"Get it the hell off my furniture."

Ryo looked up to see Kek standing with his arms folded stubbornly across his chest, brows lowered dangerously. Clearly, he wasn't going to make this easy.

Ryo smiled brightly up at him, petting the cat happily. "She's staying, Kek. She's yours."

"The fuck it is." Kek glowered. "Why the hell would I want something so pathetically scrawny?"

Ryo just laughed. "She's going to teach you that you don't need to always attempt to destroy everything."

"I'll just destroy her instead," Kek threatened darkly, but Ryo just shook his head, his lips drawing into a thin line.

"You _are_ going to have her, and you _are_ going to look after her, and she _is_ going to be staying here." Ryo stood up and fixed his boyfriend with a firm glare, hands on hips. "Understood?"

Kek glowered further, but was saved from speaking by the cat standing and stretching languidly before leaping off the sofa and onto the floor. She wound her way around Ryo's legs before heading across to Kek and giving him a suspicious sniff, instantly backing away and hissing. Her ears laid flat against her head as she glared up at him, purple eyes narrowed, before she turned with a flick of her tail and collapsed onto the carpet, rolling over onto her back.

Kek glared in something similar to mutiny at the beastly little thing lying sprawled out on his carpet. She stared right back. Kek sniffed, stretching forward one vast tanned hand and batting pathetically at the fluffy thing's ears, his eyes narrowing in confusion when it skittered away. "What the hell is wrong with it?"

Ryo had to stifle a bubble of laughter as he watched his boyfriend attempt to stroke the cat. "She's probably terrified of you, idiot. You're frightening to most things."

"But I thought cats were meant to like being petted?" Kek demanded almost petulantly, growling in frustration when the cat dodged another one of his flailing hands. "What the fuck is wrong with it? Ryo, I think you got a dud."

Ryo really did burst into bright peals of laughter at that, his bright brown eyes creasing with amusement. Kek just looked so _hopeless_! "Y-you can't buy dud cats. Kek! They're animals. They don't break."

Eventually taking pity on the both of them, Ryo stepped forwards and rescued the cat, scooping her up into his arms and scratching her ear. She immediately started purring, curling into his chest.

Kek glared sullenly at the two of them, watching with something akin to envy when the stupid animal pushed its face into his partner's. Ryo was _his_, dammit, and the cat was going to learn that one way or the other!

Ryo caught Kek's dangerous look and quickly advanced, holding the cat out invitingly. She glared at Kek with the same amount of distaste as he glared at her, both of them almost spitting at each other, neither making any move towards the other. Ryo eventually grew impatient, thrusting the cat at his boyfriend with a dangerous gleam to his brown eyes.

Kek's eyes widened in shock at the insignificant animal suddenly in his hands, his arms flailing wildly as he attempted to balance without dropping the stupid thing. The cat was not impressed, hissing and spitting and biting and scratching at every available surface - mostly, the tanned skin of the monstrous man holding her.

Ryo stifled a loud guffaw at the sight of them, instead putting on his most serious expression and tapping Kek firmly on the shoulder. "You and the cat are going to bond. When I get back in here, I expect you to get on a bit better than you have so far. Agreed? Good."

Kek turned to stare hopelessly after his partner's retreating back, his arms full of an angry cat that was still scratching every part of him she could reach. Kek's expression turned to one of desolation as he shouted, "I am going to fucking KILL you, Ryo!"

A bright laugh floating back through the air was all Kek got in response.

"Fucking hell," Kek growled, attempting to sit on the sofa despite the hissing bundle of fuzzy fur scrapping away in his arms. "Calm the fuck down, alright? I don't want to be here either, but Ryo has a really fucked-up idea of fun sometimes."

After a series of difficult manoeuvres, Kek ended up sat on the sofa with the brown mess of fluffy fur held gingerly on his lap, facing him. Purple eyes met purple eyes, brown hands on brown fur, as both glowered at each other.

Kek poked the animal's side with confusion marring his features. "Why the hell would Ryo think that getting me something like you was a good idea?"

The cat glared.

Kek rolled his eyes. "Yeah, as if you'd answer." He poked her side again, grinning a little maliciously when she hissed at him. "Don't like that, huh?"

To Kek's surprise, the cat twisted and pushed her head against his hand, closing her eyes. His hand instinctively moved, scratching the top of her head just as he had seen Ryo do earlier, and the cat actually started purring as she curled up happily. Kek felt a surprising flow of warmth spread through his chest at that, and his scratching picked up, his other hand lifting to slowly pet at her fur. She cracked open one eye to glare at him before curling up further, giving his hand a sniff and a course lick before allowing him to continue stroking her.

Kek glowered at her. "My hand is clean, thank you. I don't need you dirty tongue attacking it."

The cat ignored him as she drifted on her way towards sleep.

Kek's frown deepened as he soon realised his situation, ceasing his petting in favour of poking the stupid animal in the side again. "Fucking fuzzball. Don't fall asleep on me! I've got stuff to do!"

Predictably, the cat ignored him.

Kek glared harshly at her, prodding her again. "Move! Damn animal, shift! I can't do anything with you lying on me!"

"You don't need to."

At the soft voice in the doorway, Kek twisted his head around with almost comical desperation, his expression quickly becoming pleading. "Get it off me, Ryo!"

Ryo laughed quietly, coming to sit beside Kek and the cat and curling up by his side, scratching the sleeping cat's ear. "She looks comfortable, and so do you. You should just stay like this for a while."

Kek pursed his lips angrily, poking at the thing in his lap once more. Ryo caught his wrist and shook his head, smiling a little as he rested his head on Kek's shoulder. "Just relax. You're doing well."

"You sound like a fucking teacher," Kek growled morosely.

Ryo chuckled a little, curling up against Kek with a smile. "I _am_ a teacher, where you're concerned anyway. You're such a child, Kek."

Kek growled threateningly, but Ryo's warmth at his side was enough to curb his anger. He settled with lifting one vast hand to poke Ryo's forehead, lips still pursed. Ryo just grinned at him, continuing to pet the cat. "We should give her a name."

"I don't fucking care," Kek complained loudly. "I just don't want it sitting on me anymore."

"She's a 'she', Kek, not an 'it', and she deserves a name." Ryo's voice was quiet but stern, the commanding tone present once again, and Kek instantly knew that he wasn't going to win this argument.

Kek groaned. "Name it whatever the hell you want."

"Her," Ryo corrected with a soft smile, continuing to pet the sleeping mess of fluffy brown fuzz. "You know, with her fur spiked like that, she almost looks like your hair. Perhaps we should call her Kek junior."

"Do it and die," Kek instantly growled, fixing his pale partner with a dark, dangerous stare.

Ryo laughed brightly, raising his hands in mock-defeat. "Alright, alright, calm down. Let's just call her Kiki; it's close enough to Kek, and I think it suits her."

"Why do you want to name the damn thing after me?" Kek grumbled. "It's a fucking cat. I am nothing like a cat."

Ryo couldn't hold back another chuckle, lifting himself up to scratch behind Kek's ear. "Well, you have one thing in common. You both like to be petted."

"Get the hell off me," Kek growled, ignoring the tingles of pleasure scooting down his spine when Ryo's searching fingers found the right spot.

Ryo smiled, obediently dropping his hand. He curled back up against Kek's side, resting his head on Kek's chest and continuing to pet the sleeping cat, his own eyes sliding shut.

Kek rolled his eyes when he noticed his partner's tired features, batting at him with his free hand. "I don't need another cute ball of fluff falling asleep on me, thanks."

"Hush," Ryo murmured sleepily, his eyes firmly shut as he rested against Kek. Kek lifted his eyes to the heavens, sighing loudly as he fell back against the sofa cushions, resigning himself to a night of uncomfortable sleep whilst the cat and Ryo both slept happily on him, innocently sharing their warmth. As the night drew on, however, Kek found himself smiling at the dual warmth pressing against his vast, cold form. Touch like this was impossible in the shadows, and it was something Kek was still adjusting to. It was unnervingly pleasant.

Kek fell asleep with a smile on his lips, one hand in Ryo's hair, the other gingerly placed against the cat sound asleep in his lap.

...

"The fuck is it doing now?!"

Ryo pressed his fingers to his temples, closing his eyes with a low sigh. "Kiki has a name, Kek."

"Well what the fuck is she doing?" Kek gestured angrily to the cat, who was currently stretching up the back of the sofa, her claws digging firmly into the material and leaving little tangles and mats behind them.

Ryo moved forwards and scooped her up, ignoring her indignant meow. "Cats do that as a sign to mark their territory. Sort of like you murdering everyone within a fifty-mile radius, so that they know you're here."

"It wasn't fifty miles, don't be stupid," Kek growled.

Ryo sighed. "She's probably fed up of being stuck indoors." Holding the struggling cat away from him, Ryo met her purple eyes and smiled a little, scratching behind her ear and cooing. "That's probably it, isn't it? You want to go outside for a bit. I can't let you run off, though."

"Just get it away from me," Kek grunted, collapsing onto the now-destroyed sofa and closing his eyes.

Ryo brought Kiki back into his chest and stroked her affectionately, smiling when she hissed at him. "Alright, alright, you want to go out. Kek will watch you."

"The fuck I will!" Kek hollered, shooting off the sofa and glaring at Ryo with heavy brows.

Ryo rolled his eyes. "Just take her and get out of here."

Kek glared back at Ryo, reluctantly taking the cat he was offered and stalking to the door. They had a small back garden, not much but enough for the two of them, and Ryo liked to watch things grow. Kek had never really understood that. Kiki seemed to appreciate it, however, as she bustled about busily the moment Kek placed her onto the ground, her tail flicking up into the air and her whiskers twitching. She inspected the lines of flowers growing neatly in their soily beds, her nose wrinkling a little, before she turned and bounded away. Kek watched her movements with interest. "I guess you don't like being trapped inside, huh? I know that feeling . . . try being stuck in the Shadow Realm for years."

The cat turned baleful purple eyes on him.

Kek smirked a little, crouching down and extending one hand. "Not that a scrawny little thing like you would survive there for long. You'd be destroyed before you could blink. Probably by me."

The cat flicked an ear at him, allowing him to stroke her for a moment before she turned away and stalked back around the garden, examining her territory. Kek watched her, a smile playing at his lips before he caught himself and forced his features back into a dark frown. "Not that I want you here. Acting up and destroying my furniture, and then trying to act _cute_. Fucking creature. Only Ryo is cute to me, and even that was a push."

Kiki blinked once at him.

Kek scoffed, sitting fully on the ground as he watched the cat wend her way around the garden. He had to admit, there was something infuriatingly endearing about the animal; the way she moved, sniffing at everything cautiously before taking another step forwards, tugged at his non-existent heartstrings.

Kek growled to himself. "Fine. You're cute. I admit that you're cute, but that's as far as it goes. I still don't like you, and I certainly don't _want_ you, so just stay the fuck away from me and you'll be fine."

Kiki ignored him, of course, but a low chuckle from behind him showed Kek that his words had not gone unheard. A pale hand gently caressed his shoulder, long white hair sliding into view as Ryo slipped around the form of his lover and sank happily into his lap, curling into Kek's embrace. A smile graced pale lips. "I recall you saying something very similar to that just after I asked you to move in, you know."

Kek growled. "Don't push your luck."

"Whatever." Ryo looped his arms around Kek's neck and kissed him firmly, prying their mouths open. Kek responded with a grin, chomping away at Ryo's tongue and allowing his hands to wander. Ryo moved to straddle him, running pale hands up Kek's warm chest, removing the annoying material of his shirt as he went, continuing to plant small demanding kisses on Kek's lips.

Kek returned the affectionate gestures, but pulled away just long enough to send a glare over Ryo's shoulder.

Ryo glared at him, irritated at the loss of his lover's attention. "What?"

"That infernal animal is watching," Kek growled, gesturing to the bright purple eyes behind Ryo's back.

Ryo snarled, a very uncharacteristic noise, and pressed his mouth against Kek's again. "Ignore her. You should be more focused on me right now."

"Something's got you in a mood," Kek commented, grinning when pale hands gripped his hips.

Ryo kissed him deeply again before pulling away a little, his breath mingling with Kek's. "Let's go upstairs."

Kek was more than happy to comply, scooping his small partner into his arms and rushing back into the house. Kiki watched them go with her head tilted curiously to the side, her ears laid back against her head and her eyes wider than usual. A strange shiver shook through her furry body. She turned away and, with a final flick of her fluffy brown tail, leaped up onto the fence, disappearing into the next garden.

...

"Now what the fuck is she doing?"

Ryo put down his book with a sigh, stretching his legs out on the sofa as he turned to regard Kek with tired brown eyes. "What?"

Kek prodded the cat with one toe, his brows furrowed and his eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Kiki. What the hell is wrong with her?"

Ryo reluctantly lifted himself up a little further, watching with his head tilted. Kiki was indeed acting strangely; all that day she had moved around the house, collecting little scraps of paper and cloth, even going so far as to rip up a pair of Kek's old, smelly socks, resulting in the Kek's vast form hollering at her. Kiki had merely flicked an ear at him before taking the tattered scraps downstairs. Ryo watched with mild amusement as Kek stood over Kiki, his hands on his hips. "What are you doing, cat?"

Kiki had gathered together all her collected scraps and was setting herself up in a warm corner by the fire, kneading all the soft bits of material into a comfy bed and curling up on them, closing her eyes. Kek glared and poked her side. "Why are you doing that? Ryo, she isn't working properly!"

"I told you back when we first got her, months ago," Ryo sighed. "Animals don't break."

Kek turned on him with a glower, pointing angrily at the animal currently curled up against the wall. "Then why the fuck is she doing that? She's ripped up half my wardrobe!"

"It was one sock," Ryo commented mildly, lifting the book to his face again.

Kek roared and leapt on Ryo, throwing the book away from his surprised hands and glaring into his startled brown eyes. "Something is wrong with her and you need to fix it. _Now_."

Ryo rolled his eyes, attempting to push his much heavier partner off him as he clambered to his feet. Wandering over to Kiki, Ryo crouched down and stretched out one hand, allowing her to sniff it before he stroked her slowly, scratching behind her ear. Kiki closed her eyes and purred, but instantly hissed and spat when Ryo wrapped his arms around her and attempted to lift her up.

"Hm, you are acting strangely," Ryo murmured, lifting her up regardless of her struggles and holding her close to his chest. "You're getting a bit heavy, too – Kek, maybe we need to put her on a diet."

"Just do something to fix her," Kek demanded, and Ryo had to hold back a smile at the worried tinge to Kek's voice.

"I think she's alright for now," Ryo disagreed calmly, gently placing Kiki back onto her bed. She immediately curled back up and shut her eyes, drifting off to sleep. Ryo smiled and patted her head once before standing and turning back to Kek, who was hovering like a worried father despite his best efforts to hide it. Ryo didn't try to smother his grin as he pulled Kek closer, placing pale hands on his shoulders. "She's fine, Kek. Relax."

Kek glared. "I am perfectly relaxed!"

"Yeah, sure looks like it," Ryo laughed, pointedly massaging Kek's tense shoulders. "How about this: we'll go to bed, and if she's still acting strangely in the morning we'll take her to a vet. I really think she'll be alright, though."

Kek chewed his lip, thinking it over. "You'd better be fucking right about her being ok," he threatened ominously, "And if she's sick tomorrow you're paying the vet's bill."

"Well, naturally," Ryo rolled his eyes. "You don't earn any money."

Kek growled dangerously so Ryo held his hands up in defeat. "Fine! If she's still acting strangely tomorrow we'll take her to the vet. Now can we please go to bed?"

Kek's answer was scooping Ryo into his arms and racing up the stairs with him, Ryo's fleeting protests ringing behind them.

They spent a few hours in their own night-time activities before Ryo finally dropped off to sleep, Kek curled safely against his pale chest. Kek was still a little restless, his lips pursed as he worried about the animal sleeping in the room downstairs. It was unusual for her to even be down there at this time; in the months that she had been living with them, she had taken to coming up the stairs and curling up at the foot of their bed every night. Kek would never admit this out loud, but he sort of missed her presence.

When the first yowl sounded up the stairs, Kek jumped out of the bed in an instant.

Hands flailing desperately, Kek launched himself upright and fled down the stairs, his heart hammering in his chest with every yowl that sounded from the living room. Things only got worse when Kek threw the door open to see a very tired-looking Kiki standing awkwardly over her makeshift basket, her eyes open and almost bored. As Kek watched, another slight yowl pierced through her mouth, and she gave a small wriggle.

Kek flew to her side in an instant, hands flying uselessly around her. "Kiki, what the fuck are you doing? What's wrong with you?!"

Kek's eyes widened in horror when he looked to her back end and saw a small white sack hanging half-out of her. "Shit! What the hell is happening to you!"

With a panicked shout, Kek scooped her up into his arms, ignoring the sharp hisses and deep scratches she gave to his arm. This, of course, only served to make Kiki's loud complaints increase, her meows growing more desperate the more Kek moved.

"Shut the hell up, I've got you!" Kek snapped at her, his dark violet eyes wide with panic. "Ryo will know what to do ... Ryo will know what to do!" With a few bounds, Kek was up the stairs and back in their bedroom, throwing the door wide and striding over to the bed. "Ryo! Ryo, wake up! Something's happening to Kiki!"

Ryo groaned blearily, blinking open sleepy brown eyes to meet two purple gazes; one extremely panicked, the other extremely annoyed. Ryo awoke further when Kiki gave a loud yowl, struggling out of Kek's grip and landing awkwardly on the bed, just as a small sac fell out beside her.

Kek practically screeched, leaping backwards and flapping his hands uselessly. "Oh, fucking hell! Her internal organs are falling out! Ra-damnit, Ry, what the fuck do we do?!"

Ryo had to stifle a snort of laughter, watching with delight as Kiki turned to give the white soggy ball behind her a long lick. "It's fine, Kek."

"No it fucking isn't!" Kek was still panicking, his eyes wide. "She's losing her insides!"

Ryo didn't hold back his laughter at that, grin brightening his tired face. "No, look, she's fine. She's just giving birth."

"What?!" Kek stopped short, turning shocked wide eyes on Ryo. "How the hell is she doing that?"

Ryo balked. "I don't know all the details, but that's clearly what she's doing. Look!"

Kek did look, and the sight that greeted them was enough to melt even the coldest, hardest heart. The mother cat was leaning over the small white sac, licking away the soft membrane to reveal a perfectly tiny little white kitten. As they watched, however, Kiki's body gave another shudder and she let out another annoyed yowl, fixing Kek with a glare.

Ryo smiled a little. "I think we should take her back to her nest. Pick up Kiki, _gently_, and bring her back downstairs. I'll take the kitten."

Kek gingerly obeyed, holding Kiki as far away from his body as he could as he raced back down the stairs. Ryo smiled a little at the strange sight, bending over the tiny kitten on the bed and scooping it into his hand. It was only as big as his pale palm. "Well, you're a little cutie," Ryo murmured gently to it, one pale finger ever-so-gently stroking the white fur. "Let's return you to your mum, hm?"

Heading slowly back down the stairs, Ryo placed the kitten gently in the bundle of scraps, alongside its mother. Kiki immediately went back to licking it, cleaning it up even as she continued to give birth. Kek sat beside her with his eyes glued to the cat, his expression almost comically worried.

Ryo smiled tiredly, sitting beside his lover and laying his head on Kek's shoulder. Kek just barely wrapped an arm around him, his attention completely caught by the small miracle unfolding in front of his eyes. When he did speak, it made Ryo snort with laughter again. "I'm going to find whatever fucking bastard of a cat made her pregnant, and I'm going to kill him."

Ryo chuckled. "I don't think the neighbours will like that very much."

"Fuck the neighbours." Kek continued to stare at Kiki, his lips pursed. "My cat has been violated."

Ryo smiled and leaned against him, closing his tired eyes.

They ended up with four small kittens; one white, one black-and-white, and two brown tabbies like their mother. The white one was the only male, a fact which Kek found hilarious considering how small it was, and he insisted that they call it Kyo due to its colouring being so close to Ryo's own. Ryo begrudgingly allowed it; after all, Kiki was named after Kek.

The other three Ryo named Misa, Millie and Mollie, names which made Kek roll his eyes. Alliteration was never his strong point. They grew quickly and played ferociously, tumbling around the living room carpet as if their lives depended on it. Kek would pretend to stand and shout at them for ruining his furniture, but even he had to concede that they were fairly cute.

It was a few months after they were born that Ryo lay curled up on the sofa with Kek, a film playing on the TV, Kiki and her four kittens dotted about the sofa. Kyo constantly attacked Kek's hair, sitting on his head and ferociously batting at the tall spikes, chewing on them much to Ryo's amusement. Kek gave up on fighting him off in the end, sighing loudly and tugging Ryo closer to him.

Ryo smiled up at him. "The experiment worked, by the way."

"What the fuck are you talking about now?" Kek glowered.

Ryo laughed. "The experiment. I got Kiki to try and teach you that you don't need to kill all life. Now here you are, surrounded by kittens and me, and you're not even batting an eyelid. I'm proud of you, Kek."

Kek remained silent for a long moment before turning a dark gaze down on Ryo. "This is all your fucking fault. You've turned me soft."

"I knew I'd do it in the end." Ryo grinned, snuggling closer to Kek and turning back to the film.

The kittens dotted around them both, Kiki looking very proud, as all the members of the household eventually drifted off to sleep.

**Well, there you go. Never thought I'd have to describe a cat giving birth. This is what fanfiction does to you. XD Crappy ending, and there are many parts to this I am sure I could improve, so I'm sorry about that. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the fluff! - Jem**


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